Outraged

My buddy Gertrude did not get a Pulitzer this year, and we are both furious.

She literally spends all day speculating as to the whereabouts of famous men’s penises. “Could it be over here? Perhaps in this place?” she ponders constantly.

Sometimes I ask her, “What about that guy over by the bus stop, do you care where his penis will end up?”

“Pfft! No. He’s not famous.”

She sends me weekly reports on her thoughts about famous men’s penises, and where they are. It’s basically a journal of her entire week sitting on a couch, eating candy and thinking about how famous men’s penises directly affect her life and the stability of the nation.

We are outraged that her work has not been recognized.